A NEW MOM’S THOUGHTS ABOUT HER MOM

Everyone says that your relationship with your mom changes after you have a baby. Well, it couldn’t be more true.

I’m one of the lucky women that has a “best friend” mom, so I wasn’t expecting anything dramatically different. I mean, how could our friendship change due to some new tiny being that was going to suck up all my energy? Though I suspected my mom’s and my interactions would still be the same and as frequent, I was still eagerly anticipating the altered dynamic my new role would impart. Would we grow a bit more apart now that I have a brand new focus in life; would I get frustrated with her involvement, jealous? Would I no longer need her as my mom now that I’m someone’s mom?

Now that my son has been here 6 months and I’ve gotten into a bit more of a routine that  allows me to just sit here, reflect and type my fuzzy, tired thoughts into words, I can actually say our relationship has changed.   No, not changed, it has evolved. The day Aidan was born, I remember the moment in the hospital when I realized, “holy &*$%, I’m a mom” and then, “holy #$%^, I’m MADLY in love!” And when I saw my mom in the delivery room after that baby bonding moment, it hit me, SHE really loved ME.

I’ve always known she’s loved me. Of course she does, she told me that every day of my life since I was born. And I love her! But after the first few weeks of really getting to know my precious baby boy and thinking to myself that I never knew a love like this existed,  it really did bring me to tears when I realized just how lucky I am to have MY mom. No more would I take for granted her love for me. Now I know what she’s feeling when she says she loves me, when she gives me a big hug and kiss hello when she comes to visit my family. When out of the blue, when my husband, baby and I are visiting my folks for a weekend, she comes over to me out of nowhere and hugs me tight, kisses my cheek and says, “Oh, I love you so much.” No more will I cringe with a slight annoyance thinking, “Gosh mom, enough already.” No more will I neglect to give it a second thought. And more importantly, no more will I not reciprocate. Because, if anything tickles you more as a mom, it’s that little smile, that delicious tiny giggle, or that arms-stretched-out-for-me move that subtly tells me, “l love you.” And do I crave that as a mom? Of course I do!! That’s what makes me a mom. And that’s what makes my mom a mom. And does that make our relationship different? Absolutely! It’s now truly a two way street. So mom if you are reading this, thank you, I love you.