SLEEPY TIME – HAPPY TIME OR OTHERWISE?

Instructions from child psychiatrists and psychologists regarding the where, the how, and the when of sleep time for babies has changed drastically over the years.  Some of the “experts” are still rummaging around looking for the correct answers.  It seems they may have been looking everywhere for the wisdom except in “mommie’s heart.” 

Fortunately, young mothers today realize that there is a voice inside each one of us that tells us what is right and if we listen to that voice, we can’t go wrong.  How did womankind ever find out in the first place what was good and noble and right to do in caring for children?  I should think it was because of the voice of intuition inside and the love in each mother’s heart.  We have learned that any action taken with purest love can only have an outcome of perfect good for all concerned.

As an example of not listening to “mother’s intuition” a friend of mine suffered for many years because of fear of going to bed at night.  Her mother had listened to the “authority” of the day and did not follow her own intuition.  The “expert’s” advice was that children should go to bed at night completely on their own, no bedtime stories and no “tucking in.”  His argument was that this would build strength of character and self-reliance.  So, my friend went to bed all by herself, every night,  upstairs, in the dark, and by the time she reached her bedroom she would be running full speed out of fear, and would leap breathlessly into bed, pull the covers over her head and lie sleepless for a long time.  You ask why she didn’t turn on the lights?  Well, it was a long time ago and the house she lived in did not have light switches conveniently placed every few feet throughout the house as we have today.  There was no way to turn on a light until she reached a floor lamp in her room, and by that time she didn’t want to take time to do anything else but leap into bed.  She had fears while growing up that she believes were directly due to this childhood trauma.

On the other hand, some mothers at that same time chose to follow their own intuitions and disregard the “psychological recipe of the day.”   Another friend told me of her childhood experience. Every night her mother would tuck her in, kiss her fondly, read a sweet story to her and not leave the room until she was asleep.  This friend’s path led in a happier direction than that of my go-to-bed-in-the-dark friend; and I attribute this in large part to her lack of fear in going to sleep at night.

Now I don’t know what your pediatrician will tell you today about putting baby to sleep at night, but I just know in my heart somehow that putting babies in their little beds, turning out the lights, and letting them cry themselves to sleep simply doesn’t seem right to me.  This early part of baby’s life will fly by in an instant and I am all for mother, daddy and baby enjoying every moment of it for it is too soon gone.   “Crying alone in the dark” is not a happy thing – for anybody.

I have read that Okinawans never put the baby down until he or she is at least three years old.  Someone in the family (mamma, poppa, gramma, grampa, auntie, uncle, cousin, brother, sister, — someone — it doesn’t matter who –just so long as they are in the family and very well known to baby) hold baby either in their arms or by the hand or by some method of attachment or touch all day, every day, until sleepy-time and only then is baby put down (but not alone since there were always more than one person in a sleeping area at night).  I always thought that was lovely.

Now here is what I have learned about the Okinawans.  They are one of the longest-lived populations on Earth.  They have a much lower incidence of cancer and other killer-diseases than the rest of the Earth’s population.  Their women have far less trouble with menopause than the rest of the Earth’s female population.  They are happier, on the whole, than most of the Earth’s population.

Hello-o-o-o-o   This should tell us something!  What do you think?